Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
Last week the navy lost a man in the fleet traveling with my nephew Beau. They literally lost him. It is believed he fell off a small vessel in rough sea. They looked and found a life jacket with no life in it. The jacket had wrong items attached to it. It seems it had been miss attached. It had been inspected by someone (no longer in the Navy) and found to be fine. That person's supervisor (also gone) had also signed off that it was just fine. Half assed pencil whipped work. I hate this. OK, so I am OCD. I know. I am choosing not to be treated for it. I like it. Like I said, "anything worth doing....." I know where and what I have control over. Oh and I pay a huge price for this. I have a brand new shiny ulcer as a result of this life style (I am having it repaired Monday afternoon). I have always hated to clean a room if I don't have everything I want to make that room perfect. I can't afford to do my back yard soooooo, I close the blinds to it. Otherwise I would wrench my hands and eat a brand new hole in my stomach! I hate having to give details for things in instruction. I can't just say "take out the trash", oh no, I have to say "please take out the trash.... thank you.... and also, please clean the can if it needs it, dry the can if you wash it, and please place a new bag in it". Why? dear God. Me: "It's Thursday, did the trash cans go out"? Them: "Most of them"....... Me: MOST of them?! Why? You where there moving them.... you know they all need to be emptied.... Them: "but one of them was not full". My thought, but I do not say it is: "Well then by all means save it up. Don't have them take all of our trash. After all we may need that trash this week........" Me (what I actually say): Again, like I have said before, please, next time take them all out. Full or not". I am sorry, I am venting, I know. I think it is the weeks of sleep deprivation I have faced between ulcer pain and life with selfish young people. I am usually the optimist. Usually happy. Usually resigned to know not everyone thinks like me. After all, I am unique just like everyone one else. Sense I can feel the stink on this post already I will try to close with a positive thought. This week take pride in your work. Do the work of your hands to the best of your ability. There is honor in almost all work (not counting tobacco companies, McDonald's, pharmaceutical companies, & AIG) Do this not for your boss or your customer but for what it teaches you about you .

As always here is a recipe as an offering of myself.
Cobb Sandwich's for 2
4 slices of bread. I like Texas toast bread (thick sliced white) but Italian bread, Sheppard’s bread would work too
1 tbs Mayo
1 tbs Parmesan
1 teaspoon of butter
2 thick slices turkey. Fresh roasted would be great but if you can go to the deli counter and ask for thick sliced turkey. I like ¼ to ½ inch think (slab style) for this. Chopped.
1 avocado cubed up
2 oz of crumbled blue cheese
2 thick slices of bacon chopped
1 green onion diced
2 slices of tomato seeded & diced
1 hard boiled egg sliced
Salt & pepper
Ranch or blue cheese dressing to dip in
**You can substitute the turkey with ham. You can also add more cheese to make it more of a “grilled cheese”. Any cheese you like but Monterrey jack or cheddar or Gouda would both work.
Coat 1 side of all 4 pieces of bread with mayo and dust with Parmesan cheese. This is your crust on this incredible grilled cheese variation. (you will never use butter again for a grilled cheese after to taste what mayo does!). In a small fry pan on med heat melt butter and add turkey, when it starts to get color flip it over, & lay avocado on top and do not stir. We want the Avocado warmed but not really touching the pan. Salt and pepper avocado. Separate in to 2 even piles. In another pan over med heat lay 2 pieces of your bread mayo/Parmesan side down. Add ½ the blue cheese to each bread, add bacon, add green onion, add the turkey/avocado mixture to each bread, add ½ tomatoes, salt and pepper tomatoes, add egg slices, top with other bread (mayo/Parmesan on the outside) and flip over and press together. Cover until bottom browns. (about 2 minutes). Slice in half and serve.

A list of places for foodies like me

I am a foodie. It is what I do, I eat. People ask me to recommend them food all the time so I have compiled a list of a few favorites and local places to share.

Green Thumb Produce 2648 W Ramsey St Banning Ca 92220 951.849.4711 951.849.2048
This place is an oasis in a desert. This was an odd and pleasant find. The produce is fresh but this is not why this place it amazing. This place imports a lot of items, choice gourmet Italian items! In the freezer I found cannoli filling. Good, cannoli filling! They have San Marzano tomatoes. If you want to try a canned tomato that will curl your toes, this is it! They have a counter for sandwiches that serves Boars Head! If you do not know what this means RUN NOW to this shop. This brand is the very best lunch meat money can buy. I am a slob in the lunch meat department because Boars Head has ruined me to all others! The honey turkey is impeccable. And lastly there is soup. Minestrone soup. I did not want to leave. Soup is my favorite food and this is "the" soup. I had some to go, left, and drove back for more the same day!

Angelo & Vinci's http://www.angelosandvincis.com/ 550 N. Harbor Blvd Fullerton Ca 92832 714.879.4022 This place is WOW The decor is WOW! Once you walk through the door you no longer remember you are in Fullerton Ca. This place has been on thousands of favorite list for the almost 40 years it has been there. What most people talk about is the pizza. It is good, very good but some of there more personal dishes are event, events to be celebrated. Please try the ravioli apostole or the mezzaluna. Both are exquisite, distinctive, rich, and memorable.

The Best Chain: Houston's (Pasadena, or Irvine) http://www.hillstone.com/#/restaurants/houstons/ The Hawaiian rib eye is excellent. The double cut pork chop is an exemplary culinary experience that I have ever...ever.... eaten. The side dishes change with the seasons and are an indulgent event. This is a chain but wow do I love it.

Sushi. In Moreno Valley there is 2 places to go. Sushi Palms,
12831 Moreno Beach Dr # 104 Moreno Valley, CA 92555 (951) 486-0293
The owner is wonderful. This is a family run place and I feel good
supporting him. Tell Joe I sent you.
The next is Sushi Kinoya 26150 Iris Ave # 4 Moreno Valley, CA 92555
(951) 242-4101. This is much less friendly. The tuna steak pictured on
the cover of the menu but not listed and needs to be requested. It is incomparable and really phenomenal. This is reason alone to try this place. I don't like that the waitresses don't get the tip, they get a portion of it. Having waitresses before I don't really like this. The sushi chefs get most of the tip but I don't sit
at the sushi bar and do not judge my tip on them but rather the waitress.

* Best Deli & Best Bakery: Katella Deli, 4470 Katella Ave Los
Alamitos, CA 90720 Phone: (562) 594-8611
This is my first food memory; My father used to bring home the heals
of rye bread home from the restaurant he worked at and he would shmeer
it with butter and we would eat them as if we where eating steak! The
Jewish restaurant he worked at served bread that they bought from
Katella Deli. At that time, approx 1972, the deli was located in a
smaller building then it is currently. It was a hole in the wall. Now,
the restaurant is in a large building and the bakery is HUGE. The
bakery is magnificent. Cream puffs that will change your religion.
Bread with the likes that you have never seen. Bagels & bialy's,
challah, & pumpernickel. Cheese cake..... rum cake.... it is
overwhelmingly unparalleled. This place catered the biggest disaster
of this generation, my reception! The dinner meals come with fresh
bread and butter and pickles. I love the corn rye. I clear a spot in
my freezer before I go because I know I am going to want more bread!!!
More rye bread!!!!! The potato knish is so fantastic. The potato
pancakes with sour cream are yummy. I get the chicken piccata most
often or the corn beef sandwich. I always get cole slaw and chicken
salad to go. Both are quid-essential. The pastrami is so unparalleled
you will hear singing and the clouds will part! I was searching for a
website but could not find one but I did find a review and I quote:
"The matza soup will re-grow a dismembered limb"! I also found some
guys blog with good pic's and info at:
http://www.jeffreysward.com/tributes/katdeli.htm

* Best unique food experience is The Stinking Rose
http://www.thestinkingrose.com/ 55 n. lacienega blvd Beverly Hills Ca
310.652.7673 There catch line is "We Season Our Garlic With Food" Wow
does it smell.... and wow is it good. The art is well, unique, you
need to see it I can not do it justice. Try the bagna calda is is
to-die-for. The Neon Ravioli filled with potato & cheese garlic basil
alfredo sauce is advantageous.

*Best French:Creola's Restaurant, http://www.creolasrestaurant.com/
(951) 653-8150, 1015 E. Alessander Blvd. Moreno Valley. Tell Creola
that I sent you. The pepper crusted steak is magnificent. The creame
brule' is the very best I have ever had. Real, blue cheese dressing! The
pot roast and whipped potatoes are sublime. This is where Danielle
started her love affair with the escargot. This is a small place in a unlikely
strip mall and a must on my list of local favorite places!

Fancy Place: Local there is Mario's In Riverside,
http://www.mariosplace.com/ This place is pretentious but good.
Also there is the Mission Inn 3649 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, CA
92501 951) 341-6767 This place is "pinkie's out". No jeans. No tooth
pic's. Beautiful, good, and COSTLY.

*Best fried chicken: Donahoo's Golden Chicken 5749 Mission Blvd Riverside, CA 92509 (951) 684-3545‎ The place is a DIVE! It is THE dive of all dives. It looks like hell
but,... the chicken is soooo good. the fries are wonderful (Get extra
seasoned salt), the rolls are wonderful. KFC has nothing on this
place. I can not cook chicken like this. Greasy, and gilt ridden and
wonderful all the same.

Best Ravioli: La Pasta Italia in Grand Terrace is amazing. This place
is only opened days. No dinners. It is a factory for restaurants that
also sells to the public. The butternut squash ravioli is stupendous.
You can buy all kinds of import meats, as well as all
kinds of Italian specialties to go. You are in for a real treat. This
a a gem of a find. http://lapastaitalia.com/
Sandwiches: Quick Stop Subs, 14420 Elsworth St Moreno Valley, CA
92553 (951) 656-7827 This place has fine pasta and soup too. The
sandwiches are fresh and made to order on great bread. Simple
ingredients done right. The garlic bread is distinctive, try it. You
will be leave happy & full.

Brunch: California Baptist University in Riverside 8432 Magnolia
Avenue, Riverside, CA 92504 1.877.CBU.3615 The brunch is affordable
and open to the public and the food is worthy. Take the family and
enjoy!

*Best BBQ: The very best is Lucille's. Victoria Gardens 12624 N. Main
street Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91739 909-463-RIBS (7427) The beef ribs
are so good. Make you want to slap your momma good. Make you leave
your husband AND your boyfriend good. The sides are very southern and
beyond good. Make you prey good. Like you only thought was a dream
good.... you see where I am going :) Get a sweet-tea and bring
clothes that can get dirty. This place has fried green tomatoes too!
*ask for a tooth pic on your way out*

*Best Mexican: In Moreno Valley I like Green Onion
http://green-onion.com/locations.html Canyon Springs Plaza 60 Freeway
at Day St Moreno Valley (909) 683-3363 the every day Mexican is very
delicious. For an extra treat try the Arroz Con Pollo Here in Moreno Valley there is also Mama Chuy's (951) 242-7115, 24021 Alessandro Blvd. # 101. Get the fillet of talapia w/ garlic. It is one of my favorite fish dishes anywhere. The tortilla's are the reason this place is on the map! Try both the flour and the corn. A real
treat!

*Best Pizza: Get in your car and go to Gourmet pizza in Redlands. Now.
Yes, now. Go. Amazing in too little a word. They have all the usual
suspects on pizza but they also have the not so usual!!!! Mashed
potatoes, and country gravy..... angel hair pasta salad....... cream
cheese,......new potatoes,.... scrambled eggs,..... hosin sauce,....
do I have your attention yet?! I like the Brando, it is cream cheese,
pesto sauce, pepperoni, sausage, cashew, angel hair pasta mix, green
onion, mozzarella cheese. Marlin would approve.
http://www.gourmetpizzas.com/

Best Pizza: Italian in this area try Romaon's http://www.romanosrestaurants.com/
They have 3 location; Mission groove, Canyon Crest, Jurupa Spectrum.
They are all similar but not exactly the same. The Chicago style pizza
takes 1 hour to make and weighs 5lb! But I like the "sissy" pizza even
better. The Spinaci is wonderful. There Minestrone soup is delightful.
The cheese fries are over a pound.... really. At the restaurants they
offer more Italian food; the Chicken Champagne is enchanting. I could
take a bath in this sauce. It is served with roasted potato's and
garlic heads. Oh man, this is divine. You will not be disappointed.

*Best Fish:Here in Moreno Valley Mama Chuy's (951) 242-7115, 24021
Alessandro Blvd. # 101. Get the fillet of talapia w/ garlic. This is
scrumptious.

*Best Chicken: Juan Pollo. http://www.juanpollo.com/asp/Site/MenuSpecials/Menu/view.asp This is a chain but it is unparalleled. The potato salad is gratifying and the
chicken is exquisite & flavorful. Ask for lemon for the chicken to push it over
the edge. I love this comfort food.

Indian: Punjab Palace Cuisine's of India 10359 Magnolia Ave
Riverside (951) 351 8968 If you have never had Indian food you owe it
to yourself to try it. Scared? Trust me? Ok, go here and order the
following: Pillau Rice, Garlic Nan, Chicken Korma, Aloo Gobi. Nothing
here is too far over the edge. It is good food and familiar
ingredients. Nan is addictive and you will thank me for this experience.
* You may want to ask for them to go mild if you are sensitive to
heat. The Indian like there heat!

*Best Japanese: I love Japanese food. Tappan grill is simple food done
proper. Steak, & shrimp simple and pleasing. I love sushi too but for this
entry I am focusing on the grill. I love Benihana.
http://www.benihana.com/locations?gclid=CM3N76bIgZYCFQRfagodgWLRFA
There fried rice is scrumptious. There scallops are such a simple
treat. Go at lunch because the prices are affordable but you will feel like you have had a meal
that you will remember.

*Best Cuban:Versailles 1415 S. La Cienega Blvd. Los Angeles The half
chicken is divine. It has a sauce on it that they are known for and it
is very savory.There is a little fresh onion on top for a perfect
touch. It is served w/plantains, black
beans, & rice.
And for the best view try Coco Palms http://www.cocopalmrestaurant.com/index.htm 1600 Fairplex Dr., Pomona, CA 91768-1237 Phone (909) 469-1965 This
place is so beautiful! The view is amazing! The salmon is flavorful. The halibut and sea bass are also gratifying. They have paella is a regional treat and the arroz con pollo is not something you find many places but they could feed me sawdust and I would still go for the view.

For great soup there is the Soup Shoppe 6712 Magnolia Ave Riverside, CA 92506 (951) 781-4710 This is in a small strip mall in Riverside. It has a following of regulars that reads like a who's who of Riverside. The owner (Michelle) is a delight. It does not look like anything but give it a chance. Go on Thursday's and order the following: Turkey lunch special w/vegetable beef soup. You will thank me. They have the vegetable beef everyday for a reason. It is simple food done right. The real baked turkey is like your mom wished she did on thanksgiving. They serve it on sandwiches everyday! Yes, you can get a real turkey sandwich! The service reminds me of the old TV show Mel's Diner and you could be told off at any point but between the glorious food and Michelle it is actually worth it.

What new or not so new...

Hello Friends.
First let me update you on my Dallas. We are meeting with our newest surgeon on 4/17 to sch the next surgery. They are going to take a nerve out of her leg and graft it in her arm in hopes that she will gain some sensation back to her 2 fingers and to the palm of her hand. She is on independent studies because with physical therapy and doctors appointments her Principal felt this would be better. In true white trash fashion I did tell her to practice extending her middle finger and if she could fully extend it she can flip anyone off she wants, including me! Her older Filipino physical therapist thinks we are crazy :) Flynn and Anita took us to LA to meet with a top notch doctor to the stars for a second opinion. While in LA we had a star sighting. It was funny! In a very full elevator in the parking structure going down to the doctors office the elevator stopped an another floor and the doors open and we are facing Rob Reiner! He realizes that the elevator to too full, I, in recognizing him let out a profound "HEY" to which he makes a face as if to say "oh my god.... not anther one....." and he is obviously glad the elevator is full. Genus that I am, oh the impressions I leave.... LOL. Funnier yet, as the doors are closing Dallas says "I know him, that is Dr Phil". We are winners folks... lol. Oh Meathead, I am sorry.
Being a long time single woman I am accused of being a man hater. Let me set the record straight, I am NOT a man hater at all. I am just independent and do not need to be in a relationship. It might be nice with the right person but if that never happens I will travel and maybe live with my kids in my old age. I am picky and want a gentleman. I love when Beau comes on the weekends and does all the driving. He got me a first aid kit for my van. He is very respectful and has a good heart for doing what he thinks is right. How can I ask for or wish for more? And my Weston is sweet and loving and the best dinner date I have had for years! But, I did have a nice meal with real gentlemen that did compare recently. I went to lunch at Benihana to meet a friend. She was late. I don't mind eating alone. I have done it before. I am secure enough in myself. I am social and will talk to others. Well, I was seated with a man and his son who really renewed my belief that there still are gentlemen out there. They where charming. They shared an appetizer with me and shared life stories and we even exchanged info to stay in touch. Friendships are forged anywhere! I wish more men went back to opening doors, flowers, hands in the small of the back. It is not threatening. It is nice. Thoughts of dinner with a real gentlemen is always welcome.
I am still writing the cookbook. I am also still thinking about going into business for myself selling flavored salts and maybe flavored butter. I have been sending out samples of the salts and have come up with a recipe for garlic butter that is amazing if I do say so myself. Look forward to more details of this soon. As always I am leaving you with a recipe. This is very rich and not for every night but this would be great if you where trying to make a special dinner.

Blue Steak Pasta
1 large (about a lb) rib eye (USDA Prime or Choice only)sliced in bite size pieces
4 tbl EVOO
2 tbl butter
1 head garlic chopped
1/4 cup white wine
1 cup cream
small wedge of blue cheese or Gorgonzola crumbled 4-6 oz
1 lb portobello mushrooms sliced
1 sprig thyme
1 cup beef broth
1 lb pasta any shape you like
4 shallots chopped
1 tbl flour
parley
Salt and pepper
Put your pasta water on in a large pot w/lots of water and salt it very heavily. Cook pasta al dente (firm) it is going into the sauce and will continue to cook there. In a large frying pan put 2 tbl butter and 2 of EVOO of high. Salt and pepper the steak and toss it into the pan. Cook until you would like to have it as a steak. I like rare so I cook it for maybe 2 minutes. It will have carry over cooking and will be added back in later for a bit more cooking later. Remove steak on a plate and set aside. Add the shallots, mushrooms, and thyme into the pan and cook until the mushrooms start to soak up the liquid. Add garlic for about 1 minute. Add flour and let it mix with all drippings and let it cook for at least 1-2 minutes until flour mixes and bubbles. Add wine to the pan and deglaze. Let the wine evaporate for about a minute. Add beef broth and bring to a boil and let thicken. Turn down to medium and add blue cheese. Once melted add cream. Taste for salt and pepper. Add steak back in. Add pasta and stir/toss well. Turn off and serve. On the plate finish with a little EVOO and parley.
This is good. Make you want to run around the block good.

I would love feedback so if anything has moved you please let me know!

A wish for you...........

Bread - that this house may never know hunger. Salt - that life may always have flavor. Wine - that joy and prosperity may reign forever. Wow, is that what wine means? Who know?! I never have really liked much wine but if that is what wine means I am drinking more of it! I want joy and prosperity to reign forever! This week my Meg and I went and saw "It's a Wonderful Life" on the big screen with some of Meg's in-laws. I always get something different from it even though I have seen it more times then I can count I always tear up, and laugh, and get moved at the thought of touching lives even in a small life. What a great film!! After that line I actually did go get a bottle of wine that I do like for me to have around the house to relax with :) And, I received a gift this week of some Boone's Farm (LOL) so I am allll set! To recap on Dallas she is doing ok. The incisions are healed. The stitches are out. She has very little use at this time. No feeling at all in most of the palm of her hand, the pinkie, and the ring finger. Her pointer has always had movement but it is not very fluid and very limited. We know there will be more surgery's and physical therapy but we do not have the details as of now. She is mostly worried about getting caught up with home work and finals! In considering the message of "The Secret", the Universe gave me a trip to Puerto Rico this week. So, I feel I must need it. I went on the Ellen DeGeneres show and received a new camera, set of luggage, a set of head phones, and a all expense trip to Puerto Rico for 2! I am taking Dallas. She can use a brake (excuse the pun) and I think it could be good for us to build good memories. We may have to pack granola bars in order to survive while there but how much do we really need while laying on the beach? I do not mean to sound ungrateful at all. I am writing Ellen a thank you note and I am listening to the Universe and going with it! In a closing thought I have an idea; I want to post a list of "Requests from the Universe" on here. I am hoping that you all will post a reply with your own list here too and as an experiment lets watch the Universe reply to us. Please join me!
My request is as follows:
I need a referral to a product liability lawyer
I would like an autographed book from Paula Dean
I want a book deal for my cookbook
I need an oil change,new brakes and a wiper on my van replaced
Dallas needs clothes. They must be loose on her arm but still cute because she is 15 and this is more important then you can imagine. I am hoping for a few jackets that are big and a few pairs of size 5 jeans that can be buttoned with 1 hand.

And on a side note, if anyone needs or gets a new cell phone from Sprint please type #733 and my cell phone number in 951.662.2786 and give me credit for the referral if no one has referred you and we both get $25.00 off our bill! Also for your home phone I have Vontage (951.247.7070) and love them. It is waaaayyyy cheaper then going through the regular phone company, the service sounds the same, you get everything for 1 price cheep!

And, as always here is another recipe. Enjoy!

Pasta Carbonara

2 teaspoons olive oil
4 ounces thinly sliced pancetta, chopped
1 head roasted garlic (roasted in a 325 foil pack with a dollop of olive oil and salt for an hour) smashed (or more to taste)
2 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan (no green can!) (yes, 1 whole cup)
8 large egg yolks room temperature
1/8 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
1/8 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
Salt & fresh ground pepper
1 pound pasta
1/2 cup pine nuts or chopped walnuts, toasted
1 tablespoon finely grated lemon peel
In a large pot heat olive oil and fry pancetta until crisp. Under cook pasta per box directions by 1-2 minutes. To the pot add garlic, cream, cheese, nuts, on med-high heat. Temper egg yolks by adding a little of the warm cream in a bowl with the yolks and mixing well. Once heated and bubbling turn off and then add remaining ingredients, eggs last as not to scramble them. Stir and mix well and then add pasta. This is so good. And yes, I know the eggs are not fully cooked and I do not care and neither will you. You will want to take a bath in this and you will want to purpose to me but I will sadly have to say no.

Things change in a moment

This week has been a rough one. For those of you who might not know, Dallas was in a auto accident. She is alive and she has all her limbs. For this I am thankful. I am thinking of this like one of my favorite literary characters, TS Garp, would look at things and with the resolve of The Secret as well and will dare to say I am thankful for this accident. Now she has had her teen accident and survived. It's out of the way now. No more. She was the passenger in a car with a distracted teen driver who hit another car. Everyone but Dallas is OK. Both cars drove away from the seen. The air bags went off and caused the real damage to Dallas's arm. It was almost amputated. She suffered a double compound fracture in three places and broke her wrist as well. I was at the scene and her hand was dangling off. They where able to re-attach her hand. She has four permanent titanium plates holding the bones together. Her incisions looks like Frankenstein with just under 100 stitches. Two of the nerves where damaged. One of them was repaired but one could not be. She has no feeling or use of her pinkie and ring finger on her left hand. We are hopeful on a nerve graft at some point to bring some of that back. It will be a long road but I will skip down that road happily because she is alive. We always try and see humor in everything and this is no different. She has earned nick names like "speed bump", and "stumpy". We have made Ferris Bueller jokes all week saying "If Dallas dies she is going to leave her eyes to Stevie Wonder"! She is in a lot of pain and afraid to take pain meds. It is hard to watch but the choice must be hers. We had half of her high school visit her in the hospital. One of her friends made a sign for her door that said "Bad to the Bone",!! One of her friends went to the gift shop and got her a gift, a hat that read "It's a Boy". She is tough as nails and has hardly cried at all. She was lucid and clear and she was the one at the seen to get herself out of the car, wrap her arm and hold the hand on! She told everyone her allergies and that she does not accept blood products. She asked questions and stayed focused all the way until her surgery at which time she told me she really wanted chicken. This is funny because Dallas is a vegetarian. She has received many thoughtful gifts of flowers, and stuffed animals (including one that has a broken arm!), candy, and gift cards, PJ's and underclothes (because her where all cut off). We are all thankful for all the support. The calls, and well wishers. I am most thankful for my beloved Flynn and Anita who sat with me and fed me through the five plus hours of surgery and always are there for me and mine. They hide the bodies and ask questions later. I love you both more then cornflakes. There are many others who have shown support and given of themselves is special ways like Denise who when the going gets rough is always there. I could not help but to feel guilty when I thought about all of the days she spent in the hospital that I did not go. I am so sorry. I am also thankful for Beau who took care of the house and animals. For my dear sister in law Cindy who always is an inspiration to me. She is thoughtful and her attention to details is awe inspiring. I love you. I am thankful for my new friend Vanessa who sent Dallas flowers. I look forward to our friendship and what it will bring. I am also thankful for my Weston who keeps me grounded. When things seem larger then life the love in his calm voice brings things into perspective and although he is not here in body he is here in heart and gives me what I need. I am thankful for our connection.
In closing I will include a recipe for some great comfort food:

Perfect Mashed Potatoes
5 lbs russet potatoes peeled and cubed covered w/cold water
5 bullion cubes
1 stick of butter
1 head of garlic roasted in the oven for an hour in foil w/a dollop of EVOO then squeezed out and mashed
1/2 a block of cream cheese at room temp
1-2 pints of heavy cream
a generous amount of salt and pepper
Bring potatoes and bullion to a boil until tender. Drain well. Add butter (all of it!!!), garlic, cream cheese and half a pint of cream and mash. Add more cream as needed until you have desired consistency. I use it all most times. Salt and pepper to taste. Potatoes like salt. Add and taste. These are so good you will want to take a bath in them. This is enough for 1-2 people. :)
The left overs can be made into the best breakfast the next day by adding shredded cheese to taste and then forming into patties and rolling in flour and pan frying in a little butter. I look forward to this every time I make mashed potatoes. This is fatty and worth every bite. This is comfort food 2.0, new and improved, back w/ a vengeance!
Enjoy!

Thank you for being who you are.

Club Mud, The "Secret", Salt, turkey & the fixin's, the center of the pendulum, and paying off my home....

OK, so, I think I am going to use this to rant and vent and not to write my life story. I need a place to "place" my thoughts and I have been putting them on scraps of paper, wrappers, and in my head only to be found by those surfing the cosmos of thoughts I am putting out there on waves of energy I know I create. I create. I do create. I love creation. I love it when I have a pile of Popsicle sticks & Elmer's glue, or potatoes & meat on one side and nothing on the other but then when I'm done there is "something" to show for it. I envy those who make a living with things they have created. Even if the things are frozen burritos, and not homes or works of art. I mean I have had burritos that I would call works of art but I am simply saying big or small I crave the ability to create. I have thought about this and know this is why I like to cook so much. Creativity makes me feel whole for just a moment. My pendulum finds center. I don't like things that just take up time. Even guilty pleasures because I ask "what will this produce in the end"? This is why I think my work is not important work. I know all work has honor and I find ways to get my pellet everyday. I lead, yes.... I teach, yes..... but in the grand scheme of things unless you are leading Disney, or teaching brain surgery it will not ever produce what it is I am looking for. I keep cooking flour and sugar and wondering why I don't have cheese in the end. Retail has no love for anyone. I have received an education. I can sell anything. Can hire for any position. But in the end all I do is push paper and make other men rich. I'm tired. I went to the mud last week so I could rest a bit with no phones. No dead lines, just the elements, earth, mineral water, salt water, the sun, and sky. Rest... much needed rest. I love a day at the spa and what is does for my ability to give and think again. OK, so, this is where salt comes in. I want to produce flavored salt. I want to sell it in pretty bottles for peoples kitchens and want to make baskets featuring my salt for house warming gifts. This is my current thought of what I might do next...... my dream. Dreams.... thoughts.... and the power of all of that... including Oprah! A few friends have asked me to watch the Oprah recommended "The Secret". Being the self help junkie that I am I went and bought it. I like what I have seen so far. Positive thoughts, powerful thoughts, the answer to everything, yada, yada. Creating your own destiny. Claiming what it is you want from the universe. Which brings me to what it is that I do want. I want my home paid for. I want a better income. I want my teenager to make it through this part of her life with out hating my altogether and ending healthy. I want my other children to find there ways with respect and love. I want new brakes. I want a autographed cookbook from Paula Dean. I want to like me more then I do. I need to be a better friend to me. If I was a better friend I would look out for things and set myself straight more often and put up with less crap from me. Look out me.... I am not going to put up with the usual any more! So, next is my plan for the paid days off I have coming this and next month. I have offered myself up as a personal chef. I may be odd looking, may be short, may be uneducated but one thing I am, is a good cook. I can make a turkey and some stuffing that everyone loves. My mashed potatoes are so good I have received proposal's, my gravy is so good you will want to take a bath in it!! So why waste the day?! Why not make some money?! If you know someone who might like to hire me for the day, please spread the word.

In closing this has been a whole lot of me, me, me, and I, I, I, and I am not telling a story or effecting lives. I will not always rant or be so self centered. As a peace offering to my self centered ways I will offer you a recipe. I have figured out the best meatballs ever this week. I made them for 6 meals for myself over 4 days! They are great if I do say so myself! Enjoy!

Tracy's Secret Meatballs:

3/4 lb ground chuck

1/4 lb ground pork

1/4 stick very cold butter cut up into tiny pieces

2 pieces of fresh white bread, crusts removed, made into fresh bread crumbs

1/4 cup Italian style bread crumbs

1 sweet onion chopped very small

1 head (not clove, the whole head) of garlic chopped very fine

1/4 cup milk

4 eggs (yes, 4)

2 tbs olive oil

1/4 cup fresh parsley chopped fine

salt & pepper

Saute olive oil, onion, and garlic until slightly brown, turn off and let cool, put milk in bowl and add bread, add meat broken up in small pieces loose between fingers, add the onion/garlic mixture and add everything else and mix lightly, do not over mix, bury the butter pieces into the balls. Spoon into small balls onto a cookie sheet and bake in a 350 oven for 20 minutes or until done all the way through and brown and a little crisp on the out side and add to your favorite sauce. These freeze beautifully too!

** See my next blog for my secret sauce.....

Dreams, wants, & great sauce,

This month has gone by very quickly. Weston was here for what felt like a day and then he was gone. Like a dream. I was left wondering if he really was here.
I took no pictures. This is not like me and I think it was because I am fighting feeling a bit depressed. I am feeling a bit cornered or like I am waiting for something to happen. I know "something" is coming. Change is in the air. I can smell it. Like how animals sense earthquakes. Something is calling to me in the wind. I can not quite make it out. No clarity yet. Maybe it will come as a business change. Maybe a move. Maybe a new opportunity. Maybe it's my cookbook and what it will bring. I am staying optimistic. I received an award this month for community work. It always feels nice to be recognized. In turn, my boss gave me an award for getting the award... lol.
It is said that forming traditions are an impotent element to healthy-happy family units. And considering we do not celebrate traditional holidays where it seems most have there traditions formed we have had to think out side the norm. Weston and his friends started a tradition years ago that I had never participated in, .... until this year. It is called "No Shave November". It is fairly self explanatory. From November 1 through November 30 there is no shaving. To take the temp away from me I through away my razor head all together! The first week was easy. Showers took a few minutes less. Nothing to noticeable. But, as the month went on it did not stay so easy. At about the 20th I walked into some rebar at my work and cut my leg..... my hairy, hairy leg. I could not show anyone. Had to clean it up in the restroom, in the stall. Away from the first aid kit. Tempting as it was I still did not brake tradition. Dallas tried to join me but would not stop shaving her pits but she broke about 11/22 and wondered into the shower only to come out with shaved legs! Wimp. I started counting down the days the last week. I made it. On December 1st I bought a new raver head and I again can wear a skirt! OK, so now I have done it but as for tradition, I do not know.....
I do have some thing to buzz about. I am what is called a "bzz agent". It is a group that tests new products, and web sites and provides feedback. The main thought behind it is to talk about what we feel, find, or figure out. I tried Ziploc steam bags before they hit the market (loved them!) and also tried Listerine whiten strips ( I liked less) and now I was chosen to try Sonicare flexcare toothbrush! I love this item! It said in the intro it gave you that just from the dentist feel but it actually gives me a better then just from the dentist feeling!! I can't keep my tongue off my teeth! I just love this! It is not cheep but worth every penny. And, to as a Bzz agent I am given coupons for $10.00 off. If any of you might want one please let me know and I will gladly get you one.
As I promised in my last blog I will close with a recipe for my Secret sauce. Enjoy.


Secret sauce
2 28oz cans tomato puree
1 12 oz can tomato paste
1 14.5oz can beef broth ( for vegetarian, use vegetable broth)
1 tbs Worcestershire sauce
1 sweet onion chopped fine
1 head of garlic chopped fine
1/2 a graded carrot
2 tbs sugar
1 tbs Italian seasoning
2 bay leaves
¼ cup fresh chopped parsley
½ cup red wine
½ cup Romano/Parmesan cheese mix
1/3 cup EVOO
Salt & Pepper
*Optional additions are mushrooms (added at the same time as the onion), olives, chopped celery, a finely chopped bell pepper.

In a large sauce pan heat olive oil, add onion and saute until it starts to get color. Add garlic until it is soft but do not burn it because it will become bitter. Add red wine next and reduce for about 5 minutes. Add everything else but the parsley & cheese and simmer for 30 minutes. Be generous with salt and pepper. remove bay leaves add add cheese and parsley and turn sauce off. Enjoy!!!

Things I am looking for that maybe someone out there has that they want to give up:
Rosetta Stone Italian program and Greek program
A signed copy of Paula Deans cook book
Any cookbooks you might not want I collect them)
A new water heater
A new garbage disposer
I always welcome hand me down clothes
My home to be paid off
A commercial food processor
New brakes for my van
I am putting it out into the Universe what it is I need and want and the Universe is to answer "your wish is my command"!!!

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